The sinking ship

The Pinch. The Pulse.

2008-08-07T22:54:14Z

Inevitably each day will pass.
However the negativity won't subside.
A predicament is still a predicament.
Time can't change that.
Things have to get worse before they can get better?
How many cliches....
I'm discouraged.
Completely.
I'm not sure how or why these things have happened...
Or what exactly I have done to deserve such a treatment.
Must have done something.

Riddled with someone elses angst

2008-07-10T22:26:54Z

Ignore them.
Hit them with the nearest end table.
Ignore them?
How ridiculous.
I'm so mean.
Yes. Yes I am.
Go call your boyfriend.
The only one who cares.
You're hungry.
Child.

Like a boy of summer...Not likely.

2008-07-04T21:22:40Z

Feeling empty, lonely, lost, forgotten.
How is it that I have no friends..
I've managed to lose all the ones I thought mattered.
Key word. Thought.
I don't know.
Fourth of July...I'm at home, watching a baby.
Feeling...
Disappointed.

Bowls are Round

2008-07-01T20:20:37Z

I feel a little stung.
It could be due to the recent upsurge in hormones...
But stung, nonetheless.
I know I can fix it.
But I didn't break it.

Give

2008-06-25T23:17:32Z

No you're never coming back.
Every day is an obstacle.
I think I am losing myself more and more.
So many things have to change.
I'm just..stuck.
Again.
And again.
It'd be nice to have someone to talk to.

You make my love come down.

2008-06-16T03:35:11Z

Oh you make my love. come down.
What do women really want?
Is it really your own decision?
Or decided for you by some unseen force, long before you were just a blip in your drunken mothers eye?
Does someone already know what you are going to do, when you are going to do it?
Like if you make a big mistake early on, does that shape the rest of your life.
Karma?
God?
Confused.
I tell myself I want one thing, and then I find myself thinking about another, and maybe wanting something totally different.
I perceive my problem to be..that I just want.

Unknowh Helmsman

2008-04-06T19:51:03Z

Seriously.
SERIOUSLY.
I'm slightly frustrated right now.
It's like being surrounded by a swarm of gnats.
On the up and up, Flight of the Conchords are going to be in ANN ARBOR.
Fucking yeah.
That floats my boat for sure.

Return

2008-03-08T22:25:34Z

I've decided to come back, if only for a little while.
I'd like to say that presently, I am in a funk.
I seem to be reading things wrong, misinterepreting people and life...
And let me tell you.
I get shot in the ass for it.
My mood fluctuates...two weeks ago it was good.
Really good.
Now it's just...like a ship of frustration...
I'm not sailing it.
Some other fuckers are.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
My sister brought her boyfriend over.
he's chubby.
hahahahha

Outlet

2006-09-25T09:03:24Z

I AM SO ANGRY AND UPSET...I WANT TO CUT OFF MY LEG AND HIT PEOPLE WITH IT. I WISH I WAS JOKING. SO NOT.......THIS IS SOME BULL SHIT...OH MY GOD. ok it probably is not as bad as all capital letters make it out to be....but i am seriously distressed and going hurt someone.

banana flavored love substitute

2006-05-18T14:53:11Z

I am leaving in a n hour to go to kentucky, whre my mother has recently relocated. we have a good trip planned. I am going to watch the oc tonight. lol. On saturday we are driving to nashville to see imogen heap. this morning i woke up and i am bleeding like a war casualty..um..did before he came a casualty? yeah. uh lets see....I am hungry...god its hard to write things down lol.
last night i went out with the girls to the grand coney which has become the usual hangout. after we left i expressed interest in how i would like to liberate a lawn gnome and have him be in all my photographs during my vacation. i had an image of me and a gnome standing in front of the worlds smallest church..his eyes twinkling in the sunlight...lol. definitley tourists, we are. so my dear friend stashia whoi is pregnant mind you, decided it would be a good idea to :liberate" said gnome...so we rode around to find a suitable candidtate...and we did. there were two of them, sitting on someones front porch. the porch light was on and all the lights in the house werwe on. but stashia still went in and grabbed it. it was pretty great, albeit juvenile. but suck my cock. so thats about it. work is way gay. but its ok because i have daria. she cracks me up..and i am her favorite, but dont tell anyone.
peace out to anyone who still readds this even though my last post was two months ago..stuart and i have quite the trip ahead of us.

In the middle of a putting green

2006-03-14T21:06:09Z

My mom is harping again. She won't stop this constant incessant droning. She says that if I move to tennessee, she will pay off all of my bills, I can live rent free in her house, and when I finsih school she will personally move me to seattle. I told her I had a fear of southern accents. She told me that I had to decide within two weeks. whatever. I obviously am not going to just pick up and move. although sometimes i find myself wondering, why not? but then i realize, i just dont want to, thats why...because i have So much going on here. ha ha ha. i mean my god. i have the best friends a girl could ask for(half true) the hottest boyfriend a girl could ask for(in my mind) the greatest job(not so much)and um..well i have cute shoes. (this is true)
sigh.

laaaaaaaaaaaa

2006-02-28T03:17:05Z

myspace me!
www.myspace.com/islandhopper21

Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot!

2006-02-23T20:54:03Z

So, just in case anyone was wondering, and i am sure that not many of you are, here is an update lol-

-I had three indecent proposals at work today from mike drew and dan involving illegimate love children hot tubs and dirty talk...hahahah
-My grandpa has pancreatic cancer
-I am doing pretty well
-i got a raise woo hoo...
-i am decididng between bonnaroo and lollapalooza for the summer time
-i am most likely going to go to tennessee this april to see my brother on his birthday...
-it is almost flip flop weather time so excited
-i have been hanging out with my coworkers a lot more and it rocks.
-however, simone and i got in to a HUGE fight on saturday..lol we kissed and made up...ryan was like oh i wish i could have seen that.
-oh and i found out i am jaynes favorite...oh well im quitting anyway
-and this is sick...i think that mike and i have...GASP sexual gross eww tension...maybe thats not it i dont know lol he is repulsive but hey.
- guess thats it

hmmm...

2006-02-03T02:00:49Z

Isn't it amazing how the oc can take you away for an hour?
It is quite awesome.

i missed it..

2006-01-30T01:26:28Z

inside my head is a greyhound station
it takes my thoughts to far off destinations

No No Not Ever.

2006-01-19T20:58:43Z

Today Drew said something really gross about me and mike. vom-it. lets just say it involves a bearskin rug and bringing the heat. oh gross.

The question of the day is why is it so expensive to be a girl? I mean come on the shit we buy adds up. However, there was this purse that i had wanted since like the beginning of november, but it was seventy dollars. I could have spent that...but i couldnt bring myself to do it...then today as i was walking by looking at all the sales inside...i saw it on sale for ten dollars. hell yeah io bought it. i should have bought it in every fucking color too...

On Saturday, I am going to Lansing with some buddies. Hit urban outfitters, cheeseburger in paradise, a club or two...good times.

I was at fridays a couple of days ago, hanging out and whatnot, and i geta text message, wel li had been texting someone else, so i thought they were replying..but no it was the most random freaking thing ever...my friends alyssa was at a bar or something and she wanted to go but i couldnt. mary was my server and i like her service. lol that was funny sounding.

ohmygoodness i think i am going to go to a very kick ass concert in march, and one in april possibly. more details on that later..

I am supposed to be meeting this boy that someone thinks i will like, but when she described him to me by asking, "Do you think ricky martin is cute"? i have my doubts.

Yesterday I was looking for a note pad to make a list of things i needed to get at the store, and i stumbled upon one that i wrote like 15 pages on, about something that happened that just caused me to apparently freak out like crazy and start crying. I really dont remember doing so...It was weird. (It was something thatone of my friends did, that they had always been doing but i finally snapped) and this was before my birthday...i read it and it was like i was reading it from someone elses point of view,...i was like man, thats shitty. lol what a bitch. so yeah...i threw it away because honestly shit like that is useless...i love not having to argue and fight with bitches over ridiculious things. its miraculous. girls are so fricken catty...and im not denying that i have those tendencies...every once in a great while mind you..

My haircolor is fading. something must be done.

New OC on tonight!!! Tivo it!!! I will be.

I am going to be...

2006-01-12T22:39:49Z

High as a kite on Saturday.

Unboyfriendable

2006-01-12T21:55:17Z

I worked like a indonesian kid in a sweatshop today. Isnt that a refreshing thought. Whats refreshing is this weather though. Its fabulous. Almost flip-flop weather. Screw it I can make it flip flop weather hahaha. So today I had what I like to call "cabin fever". I totally didnt want to do anything today I just wanted to be at a beach or something somewhere else. And now, everyday I find myself thinking of living in Seattle. I seriously want to go there so bad. I think I am going to go there. I need to get out of this one horse town. Can I consider this a one horse town? That is the question. I just feel the need to relocate. Make new friends, that sort of thing. probably won't ever happen considering my financial situation. I am going to have bad luck, I mean bad credit for seven years. well hey same fucking difference.

Note to self-when, upon meeting a deliciously sexy man in a chateau in france, (who happens to be a doctor, the man not the chateau....?)do not say:"So, I am in the reproductive stage in my life right now so if that's where your goals are, I'm here." (and smile)

Actually, just don't say that to a guy period.
I know, Im smart as hell.

I haven't drank in a couple weeks. why is that? oh, the poor thing. would it be wrong to use my 5 dollar meijer gift card i got at bread bash towards liquor?

Please don't respond to that by sending me pamphlets from AA and Betty Ford.

Praying for love in a lapdance, and paying in naivety

2006-01-10T22:35:48Z

So in case anyone was wondering, no, I didn't get fired. But if i would have, I would have crawled into a hole and never called anyone of you again. Well, I don't call half of you anyway. hahahha. except you jackie..cuz youre special hahahahha lolololol enjoy italy my friend and bring me back some italian sausage. and i dont mean the food.............i am so fucking hilarious. anyways....I can never be on a register ever again, and i cant be transfered, and i cant get a raise...and greg wants me to pay the company back...he can go to hell. jayne is real pissed because she wants me to be a shift...like i would do that anyways..hell no...lalallala oh my credit card is in collections thats fabulous...so i am really thinking of picking up, asking my grandma for money, the one on my moms side, and starting over in seattle. im not like depressed or anything i just need to get out of this city. i have like add of grandrapids or something its making me crazy. screw tennesee my mom pisses me off.

Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket

2006-01-03T22:16:30Z

Im going to be fired tomorrow. and if i dont, then yay. but greg and i are going to have a talk and he scares the shit out of me. i dont know what happened to the 200 dollars greg. suck my cock. bleh.
new years was ok.
if i get fired, you will be able to find me at bennigans...with a shit load of food in front ogf me.

Tonight, I celebrate my looooooooooooove for you.

2005-12-16T00:02:43Z

Jaci...I hope you have a wonderful holiday...and this is for you. And I want everyone else to watch it and appreciate it's randomness.
http://www.devilducky.com/media/38524/

The goodbye...

2005-12-15T23:45:34Z

Ok. If this is cheesy....it will be so don't read it if you have a weak stomach. The lust of my life is leaving michigan for winter semester at some university in georgia. I couldnt hear what it was called, it was loud in there. I will miss him...no guy will ever fill his shoes in my fantasies...lol...he was so hot. im pissed that noone could see him. If any of you really love me you will go to the crush on saturday night, his last night....(im crying relentlessly..) ok not really...and you will take a picture of him. I might go with daria after we get out of work heheh. But..on sunday i was drunk and i told him he was reallly sexy. i dont rememeber if he said anything...oh, he's going to be a chiropractor. he just gained a bazillion hot points with me...so sad...anyways...i worked with quyen in the bakery this morning that was fun...a bunch of us are going to the margarita grill tomorrow(LAME!!!!) but i can get in free....maybe there is free cover i dont know..but i know I can get in free because i met the general manager and he gave me his card and bought me drinks...lol he wasnt very cute. most girls thought he was but i was staring at paul the whole time lol. who cares if i can get in free though. i want free drinks...what else is new in my gay life...hey are any of you in jail? because i keep getting calls from kent county jail asking me to accept the collect call..i hope whoever it is isnt waitng for bond money ahahahhahaha. oh and i dyed my hair. its hot. i havent heard a negative thing about it yet. yay me. i hate christmas shopping. im almost done though. i have to get something for patty...and quyen i guess wants to exchange gifts too. i can do that i think lol...

goodbye paul.
maybe someday we will mett up again georgia or here.
and we will get married
and have 3 kids.
and you can "chiropract" me anytime you want.
and i will suck your dick off.
that was dirty, im sorry.
but i meant it.

Fuck computers

2005-12-09T03:00:48Z

I can't figure out this myspace thing ok. my website is so lame...i only have four friends. I have no pictures, i cant get a kick asss background,, and i cant get any of my clips to work. what do i have to do? sleep with a fucking nerd?

There is still that Care Bears Ray of hope and friendship...

2005-12-06T23:33:22Z

Jaclyn Binder-
Can you take me higher?

We can be backpack buddies

2005-12-06T23:23:17Z

I love scotch. Scotch scotch scotch. It goes down, down into my throat. LOLOLOLOLOL. I don't really love scotch. But I love money. And I love sleeping. And I love my new sweater that i shouldn't have bought myself but it was heavenly and it fit me.
I went to a family birthday party that I was dreading completley..but it was weird...all of my relatives kept making comments about my weight loss...I was like um yeah ok...and they kept asking me how my diet was going...oh and my great grandma asked me if i was dating anyone and then i said no and she was like oh well, its tough out there. Ha.
Christmas really depresses me for some reason. I don't know. I still want to move even thought that is in no way possible right now. I just feel...that this isn't going so well for me. I'm not that happy really. It seems like veryone else is going about their happy ways and enjoying themselves and one another while I sit home and think about new and exciting ways to be a suck ass...hahahah. so i almost made it through with out being a pitiful human being.